The Proof Is in Your Pants- Brain Waves and Reflexes

Brain Waves and Reflexes
Orgasm is one of the most intense and satisfying human experiences, and if you have ever had an orgasm – and almost
all men have – you will not need to have it defined. All orgasms, however, are not created equal. Orgasm is slightly
different for each person and even different for the same person at different times. Nonetheless, men’s orgasms share
certain characteristics, including rhythmic body movements, increased heart rate, muscle tension, and then a sudden
release of tension, including pelvic contractions. They feel good, too. After noting that "orgasm is the least understood of
the sexual processes," the thirteenth edition of Smith's General Urology explains that orgasm includes "involuntary
rhythmic contractions of the anal sphincter, hyperventilation [increased breathing rate], tachycardia [increased heart
rate], and elevation of blood pressure."
These definitions include changes that occur throughout your entire body. However, for a long time orgasm was seen –
and for many men is still seen – as strictly a genital affair. In the West, William Reich, in his controversial book The
t
the Taoists have long known that orgasm could be a whole-body experience and developed techniques for expanding
orgasmic pleasure.
Many sex researchers are now arguing that orgasm really has more to do with our brain than our brawn. Brain-wave
research is beginning to reveal that orgasm may occur primarily in the brain. That you can have an orgasm in your sleep
– without any bodily touch – seems to confirm this theory. Further support comes from neurologist Robert J. Heath of
Tulane University, who discovered that when certain parts of the brain are stimulated with electrodes they produce sexual
pleasure identical to that produced by physical stimulation. Many sex therapists are fond of saying that sex takes place in
the brain. There is some truth to this statement – especial y when it comes to orgasm.
Unlike orgasm, which is a peak emotional and physical experience, ejaculation is simply a reflex that occurs at the base of
the spine and results in the ejection of semen. Michael Winn, senior Healing Tao instructor and coauthor of
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of Lowe: Cultivating Male Sexual Energy, explains: "A lot of men are freaked out by the very idea of nonejaculatory
orgasm because they’ve been having ejaculatory sex for such a long time, often decades. So the first thing to do is
demystify ejaculation, which is just an involuntary muscle spasm."
With practice, you can learn to experience the peak feeling of orgasm without triggering the reflex of ejaculation. In the
next two chapters we will explain, step-by-step, exactly how to separate orgasm from ejaculation and how to expand
your orgasms throughout your body. But first let’s look at the evidence that men, like women, can have multiple orgasms.

Prove It
Probably the most extensive laboratory investigation of male multiple orgasms was made by sex researchers William
Hartman and Marilyn Fithian. They tested thirty-three men who claimed to be multi-orgasmic – that is, to be able to have
two or more orgasms without losing their erection.

While these men had sex with their partners in the laboratory, Hartman and Fithian monitored their heart rates, which the
researchers had chosen as the clearest method of identifying orgasms. At rest, the average heart rate is around 70 beats
per minute; during orgasm it almost doubles, rising to about 120. After orgasm, the heart returns to its resting rate (see
figure 1). They also measured pelvic contractions (most obvious in the involuntary squeezing of the anus), which
coincided with the peaking of heart rate at orgasm. What they found was pretty surprising: the arousal charts for these
men were identical to those of multi-orgasmic women.
Male and female sexuality may be more similar than is usually thought. Developmentally, this similarity makes sense,
since male and female genitals come from the same fetal tissue. In their famous book The G Spot and Other Recent
Discoveries About Human Sexuality, Alice Ladas, Beverly Whipple, and John Perry argued that male and female sexuality
were almost identical. In addition to their much-reported discovery of the female "G spot" (which we will discuss more in
chapter 4), they also suggested that men can experience multiple orgasms just like women.
During Hartman and Fithian's research, the average number of orgasms a multi-orgasmic man had was four. Some men
had the minimum of two, and one had as many as sixteen! In a study by clarion Dunn and Jan Trost, most men reported
having from two to nine orgasms per session.
It is important to mention here that Taoist sexuality is not about numbers and keeping score, it is about satisfaction and
cultivation. You can feel satisfied with one orgasm, with three orgasms, or with sixteen orgasms. You cultivate your
sexuality as you deepen your an awareness of your body's pleasure and increase your ability for intimacy with your
partner. Each person and each sexual experience wil be different, and the "right" number of orgasms will depend on your
and your partner’s desires at the time. When you become multi-orgasmic, you will never have to worry about how long
you can last or how many orgasms your partner has, because you will both be able to have all the orgasms you could
ever want.


The Little Death
As doctors, the Taoist masters were interested in sexuality as part of a larger concern for the health of the entire body.
They practiced Sexual Kung Fu because they discovered that ejaculation drains a man’s energy. You have probably also
noticed this loss of energy and general feeling of fatigue after ejaculating. Even though you would like to be attentive to
your partner’s sexual and emotional needs, all your body wants to do is sleep. As one multi-orgasmic man put it, "Once I
ejaculate, the pillow looks better than my girlfriend does."
The image of the unsatisfied woman whose lover ejaculates, grunts, and collapses on top of her is so common that it has
become a cultural joke, but the exhaustion that men feel after ejaculating is as old as the first coital groan. Peng-Tze, a
sex adviser to the famed Yellow Emperor, reported almost five thousand years ago: "After ejaculating, a man is tired, his
ears buzz, his eyes are heavy, and he longs for sleep. He is thirsty and his limbs feel weak and stiff. In ejaculating he
enjoys a brief moment of sensation but then suffers long hours of exhaustion."
Western folk wisdom agrees with the Taoists regarding the importance of conserving sexual energy. Athletes have long
known the weakness and lethargy that follow ejaculation, abstaining from sex the night before the "big game." Artists
have also felt the lingering effects on their work. Jazz musician Miles Davis explained in a Playboy magazine interview:

Davis: You can't come, then fight or play. You can’t do it. When I get ready to come, I come. But I do not come and
play.
Playboy: Explain that in layman's terms.
Davis: Ask Muhammad Ali. If he comes, he can’t fight two minutes. Shit, he couldn’t even whip me.
Playboy: Would you fight Muhammad Ali under those conditions, to prove your point.
Davis: You’re goddamn right I’d fight him. But he’s got to promise to fuck first. If he ain’t going to fuck, I ain’t going
to fight. You give up all your energy when you come. I mean, you give up all of it! So, if you’re going to fuck before
a gig, how are you going to give something when it’s time to hit?
Miles wasn’t exactly a romantic, but he didn’t mince words, either. As one of the world’s greatest trumpet players, he
knew how ejaculating decreased his stamina and depleted his art. Unfortunately, like most men, he didn’t know that he
could have had sex all he wanted, even have orgasmed, before any gig – as long as he didn’t ejaculate. It might have
even improved his "hitting."
Although the effects of ejaculating may be more obvious to professional musicians and prizefighters, al men eventually
experience the same depletion from coming – which might more appropriately be cal ed going. According to one multi-
orgasmic man, "I really notice it in the morning if I ejaculate. I get up dragging my feet and I am tired by noon. When I
have multiple orgasms without ejaculating, I wake up refreshed and I need less sleep." Another man who was recovering
from a chronic illness explained: "My sexual desire has always been strong, so I ejaculated often, once or twice a day.
And with every ejaculation my health got worse and worse because I was losing a lot of energy." Many men, especially
young men, may not notice this feeling of depletion at first unless they ejaculate when they are sick or working hard.
In the West, we assume that ejaculation is an inevitable culmination of male arousal and the end of lovemaking. In China,
however, doctors long ago saw what the French call le pe it mort – "the little death" of ejaculation – as an avoidable
betrayal of male pleasure and a dangerous depletion of male vitality.