Your Arousal

According to Taoism, we need to feel aroused, to feel the life-giving force of sexual energy, every day, because when we
feel aroused, our bodies produce more sexual hormones, which in Taoism were considered the fountain of youth. (This
need for arousal is why sex sells: we are drawn to images that stimulate this sexual energy and these sexual hormones.)
When you learn how to circulate your sexual energy, you can feel this rejuvenating polymer at any time.
BECOMING AWARE OF YOUR AROUSAL
To learn to become multi-orgasmic, you will need to become increasingly aware of the speed at which you get aroused.
This sounds pretty straightforward, but most men pay little attention to their arousal rate. Often men go from erection to
ejaculation like race cars, without taking the time to notice, let alone enjoy, the sights along the way.
When you start to get sexually aroused, your penis increases in length and width as its spongy tissue fills with blood. As
you become erect, valves close down in the veins, stopping the blood from returning to the body. Erection occurs
spontaneously in newborn boys and in most men at least several times each night while dreaming.
Almost all men at some time in their lives experience the awkward situation in which they are unable to get an erection
with a partner. The occasional inability to gain an erection may be caused by what psychologist Bernie Zilbergeld calls the
"wisdom of the penis," telling you that there is something that needs to be addressed in your relationship, or it may
simply be a sign that you are distracted by work or other pressures.
If a man repeatedly does not get an erection, he is called impoten a word that also carries the suggestion of being weak
and powerless. In Sexual Kung Fu, there is no such thing as "impotence," and by using the solo exercises to strengthen
your erections and the Soft Entry technique in lovemaking, you should never have to worry about it again. If you are
unable to get an erection when you want or if you want to know what to do when the situation arises (or doesn't), see
"Snake Charming: Overcoming Impotence" in chapter 8.
THE STAGES OF ERECTION
Most men believe they are either horny or they’re not, that they either have an erection or they don't. When we are
young, we get directions so often and so quickly that it is hard to distinguish levels of arousal. The Taoists, however,
noticed that there are actually four stages of erection – four attainments, as they called them.
The first is firmness (also referred to as lengthening).
The second is swelling.
The third is hardness.
The fourth is t
Your erection is not then just a static appendage, but undergoes a process that reflects your level of arousal. Western
physicians have recently confirmed these four stages of erection, although describing them in somewhat more technical
terms.
Healing Tao instructor Walter Beckley described the four stages like this: "In the first stage, your penis starts to move and
f
Entry technique). In the third stage, it is erect and hard. In the fourth stage, it is stiff and really hot. This last stage is
also when your testicles draw into your body. It is much easier to avoid ejaculating when you can remain in the erect and
hard third stage. Pulling the sexual energy up helps keep the penis from getting to the final, stiff and hot stage. Relaxing
is also essential, as is trying to be aware of when you move into that anxious, explosive fourth stage when ejaculation is
imminent.
THE SECRET OF MALE SEXUALITY
As we mature as lovers, we are able to gain some control of our arousal in an attempt to please our partners. General y
called our staying power, this ability is often achieved by learning to distract ourselves from our arousal (thinking about
baseball statistics, for example) rather than by learning to sensitize ourselves to it. True ejaculatory control comes from
knowing your individual arousal rate, not ignoring it. As you learn to feel your rising pleasure more, it will become easier
for you to take the multi-orgasmic path.
BUT ISN'T SEX SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT RELAXING AND LETTING GO? To experience sexual pleasure, men must
certainly relax and let go, but if we relax and let go too much, we ejaculate and then most, if not all, of the pleasure is
gone. Knowing when to let go of our sexuality and when to control it is the essence of Sexual Kung Fu, and the secret to
male sexuality.


Your Ejaculation
THE MULTI-ORGASMIC MAN
The ejection of semen from your body actually occurs in two parts. In the contractile (sometimes cal ed "emission")
phase, the prostate contracts and empties semen into the urethra. In the expulsion phase, the semen is propelled down
the urethra and out the penis. When you become multi-orgasmic you will experience the pleasurable pelvic contractions –
what we will call con ractile-phase orgasm, which is felt as a popping or fluttering sensation in your prostate – without
actual y ejaculating. Though some men have multiple ejaculations during one love-making session (this is easiest for
teenage boys), it should be clear by now that this is quite different from multiple – nonejaculatory – orgasms.
As you are becoming highly aroused, a few drops of clear fluid may trickle out of your penis. This preseminal fluid comes
from the prostate and other glands, such as the Cowper’s glands, which produce an alkaline fluid used to lubricate the
urethra and pave the way for the sperm. The Taoists called this liquid water, which they distinguished from milk, or
semen. This fluid is perfectly natural and signals the approach of contractile-phase orgasm. It may, however, have a
number of sperm in it. This is the "pre-ejaculate" that they warn you about in sex-education classes, so you will need to
make sure that you continue to use birth control even if you don’t ejaculate. However, if you have nonejaculatory
orgasms, the chances of you and your partner having an unplanned pregnancy are much lower.
WHERE DOES THE SEMEN GO WHEN I DON'T EJACULATE? The semen is broken down and reabsorbed by the
body, just as the sperm are reabsorbed in a man who has had a vasectomy. However, the effects of the Taoist
techniques on the body are very different from those of a vasectomy. With a vasectomy, the vas deferens is cut just
above the testicles and the sperm have nowhere to go. They are eventually reabsorbed, but many men complain about
feeling congestion in the testicles and pelvis. If you have had a vasectomy, it is additionally important for you to practice
the Testicle Massage exercise (see chapter 8) and to circulate your sexual energy. Both of these techniques help the body
absorb the sperm and reduce any feeling of fullness or congestion. The involuntary contractions of the contractile-phase
orgasms that you will learn to experience without ejaculation also massage the prostate, which helps to relieve
congestion and keep the prostate healthy.
CAN NOT EJACULATING HURT ME? The Taoists have been practicing the techniques given in this book for thousands
of years without negative side effects, and in fact with great improvement to their health and longevity. From their study
of multi-orgasmic men in the West, Dunn and Trost concur: "None of our subjects has yet developed erectile or
ejaculatory difficulties. Our older multiple orgasmic men maintain firm erections after one or more orgasms. In our clinical
experience we have not seen men who become sexually dysfunctional following experimentation with multiple orgasms."
FINDING THE WAY
Where Did It Go?
I didn’t ejaculate, but I lost my erection. What happened? There is one other thing that can happen
to your semen besides its being ejaculated or reabsorbed by your body. Occasionally, as you are
practicing the Taoist techniques, you may experience an orgasm without ejaculating but lose your
erection. If this is not simply due to a decrease in your arousal, you probably have experienced a
retrograde, or backward, ejaculation. When this occurs, the semen goes into your bladder and passes
harmlessly out of your body the next time you urinate. Since you lose your erection and eventually
your sperm (when you urinate), you have not done the practice correctly, but you should also know
that you have not done yourself any harm. Hartman and Fithian explain: "What’s important to know
is that there is no apparent harm to the body when a retrograde ejaculation takes place. All that
happens is that if the ejaculation is complete the penis becomes flaccid, as it usually does after
ordinary ejaculations." If you lose your erection and are curious, you can urinate into a cup. If it's
clouds; you had a retrograde ejaculation. You may not want to do this urine test except when you
are practicing by yourself, since it might seem a bit clinical during a candlelit night of lovemaking.
Your Orgasm
The male orgasm lies on the precipice of ejaculation. If you rush forward to experience it, you will fall over the edge and
down into the ravine of postejaculatory stupor. Though many men continue to feel pleasure after they have ejaculated,
most find themselves at the bottom of their arousal slope, having to climb slowly back up. The five to ten strong
ejaculatory contractions are quite pleasurable; otherwise, most men would not see them as the goal of their desire.
Ejaculatory orgasm may seem like a thrilling ride, but after you experience the prolonged and ecstatic sexual aerobatics
of multiple orgasms, this ejaculatory descent will seem pretty tame and, by comparison, pretty disappointing. "After I
have a ‘squirt’ orgasm," as one multi-orgasmic man described ejaculation, "I feel like I’ve been on a six-second rol er
coaster – after standing in line for two hours!"